caPiTalIZe ThIS

I will freely admit that I am a grammar snob. I get angry with people for using their when they mean there. Run-on sentences with no discernible punctuation make me want to punch kittens. My biggest pet peeve, however, seems to be the random capitalization people use when referring to technology - particularly Apple products.

Here's a little lesson on the right way to spell something and the way to spell something if you want to get shot by a bunch of elitist creatives:

'iDevices'

This is simple, people. the 'i' is always lower case, the next-letter is upper-case, the remainder of the word is generally lower-case. There are, of course, exceptions, but I promise not to maim you if you write out Macbook instead of MacBook (primarily because I worked for the company for three years and I still get it wrong half the time). For those of you who like examples (class, spell it after me):

• iPad, iPhone, iPod, iMac
• MacBook, MacBook Pro, Mac Pro (again, no one will get hurt for getting this set wrong)

The following are incorrect:

• Iphone, Ipad, IPOD, iPHONE, IPad, or (my personal favorite) iphOne
• iTouch - wait - that doesn't look right, does it? All these other handheld products are spelled i-p-(fill in the blank). It's an iPod Touch people -iTouch is an app used by perverts and massage therapists

The computer and its operating system

1. I am typing this on a Mac, not a MAC. I worked for Apple, not APPLE. 
2. The 'X' in OS X represents a Roman Numeral - not a letter. The proper pronunciation is OS Ten. Get it right or I'm going to start telling people that I admire the writing of Malcolm 10. 
3. If asked what operating system you are running, the answer is pronounced Ten Point (Something). You are not expected to remember which cat goes with which number. It is generally beneficial if you know whether the apple in the top left corner is blue or black - but no one's going to condemn you to the remedial technology closet if you aren't entirely sure. 

The Retail Store

You are trekking to the Apple Store. It is not the Mac Store, it's not the iPod store, it's not the iPhone store. Most of this, I am prepared to let slip. As long as you know how to identify an Apple store (Hint: you will not see the word 'Apple' spelled out anywhere) and you have some level of awareness that several types of devices are sold, I really don't give a damn what you call it. 

Case in point: My childhood best friend and I would go to "The Gum Store" - primarily because the only thing she was allowed to get there when she was very young was gum. When I started going with her - we had graduated well beyond gum to several types of candy and other items - it was still "The Gum Store." Though it is worthy of note that we were 6 years old at the time. 

Perhaps the reason this angers me so much is the overwhelming number of people who couldn't find the store at which I spent great deals of time. A giant stainless-steel structure featuring a seven foot tall white apple tends to stick out in a strip mall of connected stores featuring banners with store names/logos/etc. I could certainly understand the issue on sunny days - a white apple on a silver background tends to blend in. But really people - REALLY? You couldn't find it because you didn't see the word 'Apple' anywhere? You're angry because you searched for 'MAC store' and ended up at the makeup company on the other side of the mall? I'm pretty sure all sympathy went out the window when you blamed me for not telling you that the store opened . . . 3.5 years ago . . . 

Hardware, et al.

Here's the deal - provided you don't yell at me because your memory is full or your computer keeps telling you that you're running out of space - you can learn as much or as little about hardware as you like. I don't expect you to know the difference between RAM (Random Access Memory) and a Hard Drive. I don't expect you to know that your computer's memory has nothing to do with the amount of music you just deleted from your machine. There are a great number of subjects for which I have incredibly limited knowledge (ironically, networking terms are beyond me. I know the functional differences between routers, switches, and modems, but I can't remember them half the time). I suppose a general principle is that you can be willing to learn as much or as little about any of these subjects as you feel compelled to do - but if you yell at me for anything or expect me to fix it just because your cousin's ex-boyfriend talked to my brother once in high school, you're dead to me.

-All thE bEst

beCCa - (I capitalized the wrong part, didn't i?)